The Highs & The Lows

Loveless

2010-01-29T06:53:00.000-08:00

Hi there, do you believe in true love? Well, I don't believe in true love.

What is true love? It's a fairy tale kind of thing based on Summer (500 days of summer) although in the end she admitted that she was wrong, but I totally agree with her first impression about true love. True love is only for those romantic movies, dreams that people like to have, but just a dream anyway. Girls believe in true love just like kids believe in Santa Claus. There is no true love, people were being trapped by those fairy tales. Relationship is tiring, you need to understand one each other for a piece of love?

On the other side - The Strokes

I'm tired of everyone I know,
of everyone I see
on the street
and on TV.

On the other side,
on the other side
nobody's waiting for me.
On the other side

I hate them all.
I hate them all.
I hate myself for hating them,
so I'll drink some more.
I love them all.
I'll drink even more.
I'll hate them even more
than I did before.

On the other side,
on the other side
nobody's waiting for me.
On the other side.

I remember when you came,
you taught me how to sing.
Now, it's seems so far away.
You taught me how to sing...

I'm tired of being so judgemental
of everyone
I will not go to sleep.
I will train my eyes to see
that my mind is as blind
as a branch on a tree.

On the other side,
on the other side.
I know what's waiting for me.
On the other side.
On the other side,
on the other side
I know you're waiting for me.
On the other side.

01.01.2010

2009-12-31T20:20:00.000-08:00

Hi..
Hello..
2010

It's a pleasure to meet you. Please be kind to me. I'm gonna need to make some deals with you Mr (or Miss) 2010.

1. If I'm a good girl within 2010, please be nice to me as well
2. If I'm a bit naughty in the beginning of 2010, please let me know before its too late
3. If possible, can I travel to Melbourne to meet my friend Nana in the mid of 2010? or maybe going to US?
4. Hmm, which part I need to focus to improve myself? I want to become healthier, tidier, more organize and can I get a job in the place I want?

That's all for now.. Don't forget, Please be nice to me Mr (or Miss) 2010

Cheers!

I'M DONEE!!

2009-12-10T23:15:00.000-08:00

Just finished my last final exam. It wasn't that bad. Hope will get an A for this subject. Thesis & internship to go, after that I'm done from this uni life. FINALLY!!!

Thanks GOD ;)

The Last Final Exam

2009-12-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to study, but here I am chatting my time away, browsing and stalking. Tomorrow (oh well, in 12 more hours) I'm gonna have my last final exam. Hows it gonna be? Actually, I don't feel that I'm ready enough to finish everything, but I really want to finish this degree thingy soon. I hope I can pass. I hope I can get a good mark.

So, hello future please please please please let me get what I want ;)

Oh Noooo

2009-12-08T00:28:00.000-08:00

I started to do online shopping. I used to get highly addicted to ebay, but I've stopped since 1 year ago. But I just found out about Malaysian online shopping, they provided branded bags with a good price. I couldn't resisted, just bought one. The seller said my bag will come tomorrow, yeaahh! I hope it will be good. See you tomorrow my new bag

Cheerio

My wedding day

2009-11-10T22:42:00.000-08:00

Hey you

I don't know (yet) who you are. I don't know what are the things we've been through until we finally here. Because you're gonna marry me anytime soon, I hope you can understand why I'm writing this for you.

I've imagined my wedding day since I can't remember. I've changed my taste of music 100 times, I've changed partners, I've changed here and there. But there are something I want to ask you, I wont change my mind for these.

The List for our wedding day:

1. I want God Only Knows as our wedding song. I found this song as the most romantic but yet realistic love song. I do realized that you are the best for me (that's why I wanna marry you) but this is not our happy ending. This is our beginning, so I don't wanna stay in fairytale world, I want everything to be realistic, since the beginning.

2. I don't want to put too much make up. I want to be the real me. You're marrying me, not the queen for one day.

3. If possible, I want to make it small and romantic. Then we can save the money to run away from all those responsibilities. Let's go to Maldives or somewhere baby.

4. Don't spend too much money in our wedding

5. Keep the cake small

6. I want wine as our wedding souvenirs :)

7. Keep it real and everlasting

8. Let me do the list for our wedding songs

I think that's all for now. I hope you can understand. If you're really rich, maybe we can ask Jens Lekman to sing at our wedding.

The wedding songs:

1. God Only Knows - The Beach Boys
2. When I'm Sixty Four - The Beatles
3. Don't Worry Baby - The Beach Boys
4. Dedicated to the one I love - The Mamas and The Papas
5. Everybody's Gonna Be Happy - The Kinks

Oh yeah, on our wedding anniversary, please listening to When I'm Sixty Four - The Beatles over and over again.

I Love You

Let's keep it realistic and everlasting

See you soon my very special one ;)

Who Am I?

2009-11-03T23:06:00.000-08:00

Well, this is my last semester. Next semester, I must do my thesis and internship. There are so many things happening this year. Sadly, after I've been through so many things, I still don't know who is the girl inside me. I couldn't be truthfully honest to everyone. I couldn't tell everything even to the most important people in my life.

If I need to fill up the most honest "About Me", it would be like this;

My name is Jessica Valentina (I don't like the fact that my birth certificate spelled my name as Jessicha). I'm 23 years old, currently I'm pursuing a degree in Mass Communication. I love the fact that I have a big family. I love my nephews and nieces, especially Darren. I hate cat, I hate hypocrite people, I hate you most of the time. I love myself, I love to see that I'm unbeatable for almost everything. I'm really good in complaining about people. I'm good in doing others' assignments, but not really good in my assignments.

I LOVE:
* my blue pillow
* Darren
* my parents
* lyrics
* good movies
* being unreachable
* being the most reliable person
* being the first one for almost everything
* anything that people don't like
* YOU, if you think I'm hard to get and smart
* shopping
* stalking people's blogs
* being the most informative person
* rainy day
* to make my exes' current girlfriends feel insecure ;]
* to make you feel insecure

I hate:
* CAT
* people who think they know everything
* people who love to pretend
* people who think that he/she is the most unique creature but the fact he/she just a person with a common taste
* people who got the last laugh
* sunny day
* YOU, if you think you are the most perfect creature in this world

The jobs I've done this year:
* waitress at house + co
* sales assistant at blueberry
* selling clothes door to door
* assignments service
* sales promotion girl (will do it this weekend)

What I wanna do next year:
?????

What I wanna be in the next five years:
?????

Do you love me?
Do you think you will be able to spend the rest of your life with me?
Am I good enough for you?
Am I tough?

Should I get a BlackBerry?

2009-10-10T10:05:00.000-07:00

Oh well, hi..

These days, I got highly addicted to twitter.. My part time job as a stalker is getting more opportunity because of twitter. Anyway, I've been amazed with those people who are able to share their feelings in twitter, blogs, facebook and whatsoever. It's not easy for me to share my feelings using that kind of media. I admit that I'm a gossiper, I like to talk a lot and stalking people. But still, I can't really share my feelings with everyone. I can share some of my thoughts, but just some.

Oh well, should I get a BlackBerry? so I can keep updating my feelings toward my boyfriend, my problems and thoughts everywhere? (I don't really want BlackBerry though :P) I can't understand why some people are able to share their feelings in twitter (esp. for those couples who keep twitting "love message" to one each other). Actually, I don't really care with those twitter users who keep updating their status, where, when and with who.. But for those who keep updating their feelings in twitter, Hello MISTER?? Why they let strangers accessing their private lives?

Please..please..please.. answer me.. why do u wanna share your feelings, your love with your bf/gf, your almost everything in twitter? Are you trying to proclaim something?

hello monday

2009-09-13T22:07:00.000-07:00

This is my first post since i cant remember.. this is my last semester in Help (hopefully), although i still have thesis and internship to do.

So, I'm gonna go to Bangkok again on 24 sept. I cant wait for the shopping time, exploring the new places and etc.

I love you more and more each day!

cheers!

Here comes weekend!

2009-06-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

Jens Lekman makes me want to write again. I have this never ending “love” with him. It started on 2007 and until now I’m still repeating his songs over and over again. Currently, I’m listening to The Summer Never Ends. Summer never ends in Malaysia. Shinny days with unexpected heavy rains.

I’m happy today and yesterday as well. I spent quality time with Charlie.. Yesterday was our 9 months anniversary. We went out to have a late lunch, movie and durian. It was so cheap though to have durian now. Eat as much as you can, and its only 9 rm.

Today, I went to the church, lunch then made sandwiches at home. It’s just perfect!

Speaking about church.. why people are still going to the church today? Is it because they have to? Are they really listening to the priest?

"the churches filled with losers, psycho or confused" Gronlandic Edit - Of montreal

Are they?

I always try to go the church every Sunday, although I’ve missed a lot of Sundays, because I feel so blessed. Yes, I’m just so blessed. I always (well almost) can get whatever I want. I can’t really understand what the priest says. I’m late most of the time. To be honest, I can’t get anything from the mass itself. I go there not because I have to.. I go there because I want to pay tribute to the Lord. I just want to thank Him for what he has given to me. Am I wrong?

Please, answer me..

Money..money.. moneyyyyyyyyy....

2009-05-20T02:23:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, I need MONEY!

I'm not ready to talk about money now, let's talk about anything else.

I've finished working in House+Co. To be honest, the boss getting nicer in the last few days. So, I'm gonna work there again, but only for few days.

Sadly, she hasn't given out the SALARY until now. Oh dear Ms. Pauline... I need MONEY, NOW!!!!!!!!

Lately, I keep thinking about people without literacy ability. There's one lady in House+Co, she's a Malay and she can't read and write. She knows number, but totally blind about words. She can work quite fast, but she has slow us down. There were a lot of time that she ended up misleading us. Her responsibility is to make coffee and tea. In the peak hours, the waitresses were getting panic because we need to be FAST! SIX GEAR! Then, when the coffee was ready, we need to double check where the coffee is belong to.. sometimes she just simply pointing on random chit order, which is caused us sending it to the wrong table.

After that, I started to think; what kind of world I'd have if I can't read and write? Yes, it will cause big differences if we can read and write. It might be a simple thing, but it has helped us a lot.. It has opened our minds and souls.

I thank God for that..

I need to pray more about Money..

After all, I think I'm gonna have exciting days soon.

29-31 May; PENANG
18-21 June; Bangkok..

I wish for all the best lucks I can get..

Ciao!

Hell No

2009-05-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

Chika has been working for House+co restaurant since last week. She supposed to have her holiday, free from assignments and all those stressful stuffs. Unfortunately, she needs the cash. Thus, she decided to take a part time job in House+co instead of flying back to Jakarta. She was quite sure to herself, that she can take everything. She thought that she’s though enough to meet those demanding costumers (and the boss).

Beside House+co, Chika is working in Blueberry Boutique as well. Blueberry’s bosses, Ashley & Joe are extremely nice to her. She wants to work there more often; regrettably she only can work there 5 days per month.

Then, straightly after final exam Chika started to work again in House+co. Then, here she is.. feeling unsure about herself. Feeling extremely lazy to wake up tomorrow morning but she has to. She keeps thinking the reasons she has to tell to the lovely kak Miza so she can escape from Saturday and Sunday duty. She gets so tired with almost everything in House+co.. The boss and costumers are too demanding for her. It seems she never do anything right. Although she has trying so hard to do all the things she can, it seems never enough. ARGHH!! She’s running all over the store for 5 hours.. She was having a very late lunch today. In the end, she’s done something wrong. She realized, those complaints from the boss are not big stuffs. But, she just can’t take it today.

Oh dear Chika, you only have 10 more days.. 10 more days to have enough cash.. Come on girl, you can do it. Just ignore those things. Just be patient, 10 more days only babyyyyy….. see you in 10 days and let’s see how Chika’s feeling is.

Happy Belated Birthday to ME!

2009-03-26T03:35:00.000-07:00

I'm officially 23 years old and one day, today. My birthday was great. I was kinda surprised that the 00.00 surprise was came from my friend. I'm going to celebrate my birthday on March 28th, 2009. Make sure that you are invited!

cheers

err.. hellooooo

2009-03-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

I know, it's too late for new year resolutions or whatsoever. It's been a long time since my last post. It's only few days left to my next birthday. I'm gonna be 23 years old in 4 days.

TO DO LIST (22 years old):

* pull up my grade (oh God please help me)
* graduate in 1 ½ years
* be a good daughter
* be a good girlfriend J
* be a good auntiee
* find a part time job or internship.
* save more money
* be more responsible and mature
* be closer to God

I wrote those things a year ago.

* pull up my grade
it's not really working, hehe..
*graduate in 1 1/2 years
unfortunately, I'll finish my study at the end of this year. I was planning to finish all my subjects, internship and thesis at the mid of this year. Then, I found out that graphic design is going to be offer in september.. aarrgghh, so I need to extend one more semester.
*be a good daughter
well, I'm trying
*be a good girlfriend :)
Am I good enough? haha
*be a good auntieeee
*find a part time job or internship
I found a part time job. Actually, I'm kinda proud of myself because of this. I've been working for a boutique in Bangsar named Blueberry since February. They offered me to go to Bangkok. It's just so exciting =)=)=)
*save more money
I'm tryingggggggggg
*be more responsible and mature
*be closer to God

So far, only one mission has accomplished - part time job.

Something I've learned so far;
*It is hard to make someone happy.
I just realized this in the past few months. It's not that simple to make someone happy. You might wanna throw a surprise, making a small gift or etc. But it's not enough. It's not easy.. Your expectations might be too much; the people might not realized how much effort you have put to make them happy. So, I have promised myself, I won't try make any small gifts, surprises or whatever for others anymore. From now, I just wanna make CHIKA happy =)
*Quality friends
I don't really care about new friends anymore. I just wanna keep my best.

- I'm still not sure what I wanna do after graduating. I'm totally blur...

TO DO LIST:

- Pull up my grade
- pass all the nine subjects left
- INTERNSHIP
- THESIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Finish all the college thingy at the end of this year
- start to save money, not for bags or clothes.. see something new, traveling, get out from this country.
- Be patient
- Be a good daughter
- Be a good auntiee
- Be a good sister
- Be a good girlfriend
- Be a good friend
- Be a good Catholic
- Think more about the future
- Read more
- Learn more
- lose another 7 kilograms
- Stop dreaming!

Wish me luck..

Ciao!

absolutely cuckoo

2008-12-22T08:36:00.001-08:00

I wanna write so many things, but I got frustrated with the internet connection.

Current Addictions:
* Into eternity - Jens Lekman
"I'll choose this moment with you in my arms"
* a long chat with darren
* long distance call

Well, maybe some other time then.

cheerio

Arrivals Gate

2008-12-15T22:47:00.000-08:00

Here I am, sitting on departures gate.

I started to think about the arrivals gate.

From Love Actually:

“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”

I do love arrivals gate. Arrivals gate is the place for happiness. Seeing someone you've been waiting for. When we have a holiday, going to the departures gate is interesting. But when you've reached the arrivals gate, the journey begins.

Departures gate brings sadness. This is the place when you need to leave something or someone. The place when the cries and goodbyes meet. The place to move on or maybe the place for separation (even it's just for a while)

Well, I'm waiting for the arrivals gate in Jakarta. After that, wait me in the arrivals gate of KLIA my dear. I'm living for that day. The day to meet someone I've loved in the arrivals gate.

cheerio

Oh Dear

2008-12-15T18:33:00.000-08:00

I'm going homeee..

Am I happy?
Hmmm yeah.

After the bad experience with Lion Air (I've promised to myself that I wont take Lion Air again) I'm glad that I can go home today.

I'll meet my family, Darren (aahh)

But I've left my heart here in Malaysia.

I'll be back on 3rd of January 2009.

A new year.

Oh my dear future
I don't know what will you be like
Oh my dear future
I hope everything will be alright
Oh dear
Can't wait to see you in the future

Well, I can't wait for the 3rd of January.

<3

PS; oh dear, please keep my heart with you. Until I see you again (3rd of January for sure!)

JENS LEKMAN & VIKTOR SJOBERG - ASIAN TOUR

2008-12-09T14:21:00.000-08:00

Jens Lekman's finally here. Last night was the last day for his Asian Tour. The show in Bandung is canceled because of the airlines problem (miss flight, haha). Luckily, he still wants to fly all the way from Hong Kong to here, Kuala Lumpur (actually, he should).

The uncertainties of the show were quite high. I hadn't had the tickets until last night. I reached Annexe Gallery at 7.40 pm, but the tickets were not on sale yet. I waited until 8-ish to get the tickets, well it wasn't even a ticket its just stamp in my hand.

When I reached there, Jens Lekman & Viktor Sjoberg was doing the sound check. I was able to see them to do the sound check, Jens Lekman was playing "Another Sweet Summersnight On Hammer Hill ". It feels so good to see him there. I've never imagined that I would be that "close" to him.

I was so hungry, but I chose to be there. Yes, that's the right decision, because after the sound check I got to meet him.

He was sweet enough to the fans. I took pictures with him and he even signed the Polaroid after that.

The show started at 9 pm. 30 minutes late from the schedule. I was so excited.. The opening acts were Silent Scenery and Stoned Revivals. Silent Scenery wasn't that good, maybe because they're not complete and lack of preparation. In fact, it was kinda boring. After that Stoned Revivals came with more preparation. Stoned Revivals was not that disappointed. It was good enough, if I wasn't waiting for Jens Lekman.

Jens Lekman and Viktor Sjoberg played the first song "I'm leaving you, because I don't love you". Audience was still sitting and after that song Jens asked the audience to stand up. The real show started.

Jens played "The opposite of Hallelujah", "Julie", "A postcard to Nina", "You are the light", "Black Cab", "Shirin" and a lot more. He played the songs about his pen pal into his hairdresser. He played the songs, he joked, he was interacting with the audience, he just melted everyone's hearts. He acted, he sings the rhyme, and he has made the small crowd having fun in the Tuesday night.

His baritone voice definitely melted the girls' hearts. His jokes have made the guys laugh. He did some freaky things. He sings from his heart. He made the audience dancing and singing together. He successfully made us feeling happy into eternity.

He should get more than just RM 30. The waiting was worth it. I did have a lot of fun. Even the equipments were not that good, but he had made it part of the show. He just said that he hates technology and started singing without microphone; it has covered the disappointment in audience's heart. I missed his ukulele though; I wish I could see him singing with the ukulele. But that's alright.

The show ends with the clip of him flying an airplane. He sang "Into eternity" Both of them came to the audience and they were dancing with the audience. Then he said if we want more, he will sings to us one by one because his songs has deep meaning for him. The naiveness of me, I feel that all of his songs are the reflection of his self. It's honest and he just being honest with his sarcastic jokes. And that's why I love him more.

I love small gig when the audience could get in touch with the band. I think Jens Lekman's show shouldn't get bigger. Bcos that's the selling point from listening to his songs. He just the singer in the cafe with baritone voice that has melted the girls' hearts. He needs to be close to the audience, to get in touch and leaving the audience with the unforgettable moment and indescribable feeling.Yes he's worth more than RM 30, I wouldn't mind paying RM 200 for him. But I want the same small crowd.

I enjoyed the show. Satisfied. But I want more..... Well, I just need to make believe. Until the next show Jens..

Yours Truly,

Chika

The Day

2008-12-08T19:54:00.001-08:00

Today is December 9, 2008. December 9, 2008 is suppose to be the happiest day in December for Chika. Chika's exam has finished. She's going to Jens Lekman's show tonight. She has been waiting for today since two weeks ago.

But, here she is. Writing her blog and feeling lonely.

Lonely?

Indeed, lonely..

She doesn't has anything to do. She's hungry but has no one to go lunch with. She's watching Serendipity from surfthechannel. She wants to go home.......

Now, she started to think that waiting for today is a lot more exciting than today itself.

Preparing for today is a lot more interesting than having today without the excitement..

She's hoping the show tonight will cure her loneliness.

She needs the night.

:(

Boisa-Bis-O-Boisa

2008-11-27T17:16:00.000-08:00

Charlie checked www.jenslekman.com two weeks ago, then he found that Jens Lekman is having Asian Tour. yeayy!

ASIA
Dec ? - Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - TBA
Dec 6 - Bandung, Indonesia - dirgantara I IPTN
Dec 4 - Shanghai, China - Glamour
Dec 3 - Shanghai, China- JZ Club
Dec 2 - Beijing, China - MAO Live
Dec 1 - Singapore - The White Rabbit LINK
Nov 30 - Seoul, South Korea - Freebird
Nov 29 - Seoul, South Korea - Freebird

AARRGGHHH... I wanted to scream when I see the schedule. I have final exam on Dec 4 -6. It's impossible for me to go to Singapore on the Dec 1 or going back to Bandung on Dec 6, huhu.

I chatted with my friend, Poppy, she's going to watch Jens Lekman in Bandung. She told me that her friend is a photographer for Jens Lekman's opening band and the gig will be held in The Annexe Gallery, Central Market.

I've been waiting for few days, but The Annexe Gallery hasn't updated their calendar yet (until now!)

I called The Annexe Gallery last Monday, they are confirm that Jens Lekman will be there on Dec 9(yay!), ticket price around RM 30-35. The person in The Annexe Gallery gave me an email of Jens Lekman's event organizer in Malaysia. I emailed him asking about how to get the ticket, and he replied "tickets will be available at the venue at the date of the show and the show will start at 8.30 pm."

I've decided that I'll come at 5 pm, hihi.

Well, I still have final exam before that gig. I'm studying Communication Theory right now (oh mercy mercy me Mr. Kannan), I learned about Uncertainty Reduction Theory. One of the axioms stated that when the level of uncertainty is high, seeking information behavior increases. I guess that theory is absolutely correct for my case. When the uncertainty of Jens Lekman's gig is high, I have high level of seeking information behavior. I've checked The Annexe Gallery events, called the person and emailed the EO. I'm so glad that I can apply this theory to real life experience (maksa, hehe)

Wish me luck for the exams and Jens, I'm truly yours.

<3>

Life and Death

2008-11-04T19:07:00.000-08:00

My cousin passed away last night. She was having a kidney disease. She had been suffering for couple of years. Her family had been trying so hard to keep her alive. Last night, she gave up. Honestly, I'm glad that she has given her life up. At least she does not need to deal with pains anymore. I'm sad though, I wish I could get to know her better. She was only two years older than me, but we're living in totally different life. She has two kids, I'm still studying. She has faced a lot of things and I'm lucky enough to be me! Indeed, I'm just so blessed compare to her.

Her death has leaded me to think about life and death. I was thinking about her. Does she regret her life? What is she doing right now? Is she really going to be around for 40 days? Or she just simply disappears? Is there anything she wants to do before her death? What were the things going in her mind when she knows her time is coming soon? She has entered the critical condition since 2 pm, but she gave up at night, what was she waiting for? Is she ready for this?

Then, I started to think about myself. Firstly, what have I done so far with my life? The answer is none. I do have a lot fun with my life, but there is nothing more. Just fun. I haven't achieved any of my goals. I just go with the flow, trying not to think about anything beyond my things, having fun, do my assignments, pray a bit and that's all. I want to have more quality time and experiences in my life. I want to understand the meaning of life. But, on the other side, I want to avoid all the responsibilities I should face in the future, I just want to stand here and enjoying my time. Now, I want some changes; I want to have more meaningful life.

Secondly, death. What is life after death? People are keep debating about death; reincarnation, heaven or hell, totally disappear or whatsoever. No one really knows about the life after death is. It's funny for me, because while people become expert in life after death fields (something they aren't really sure and have no experience at all), they are forgetting about life itself. What is life? How to have a meaningful life?

I'm scared of death. I don't know what will happen next. Therefore, I just want to think about life. Based on my life these days, I'm sure that I will get to hell, if heaven or hell really exists. I have committed a lot of sins, something that I have regretted but repeating it in the next day. So yah, I don't want to think about it. Life is much more important for me. Just forget about death or something you're not really sure. Do what are you suppose to do. Make a meaningful life, don't deal with any regrets.

Farewell my dear cousin, peace be with you.

My New Addictions

2008-11-02T20:22:00.000-08:00

1. Viva La Vida - Coldplay
2. Scrabble-ing
3. Checking people's info in facebook

The Apostle's Creed

2008-10-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

I believe in God,
the Father Almighty,
Creator of Heaven and earth;
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, Our Lord,
Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into Hell.
The third day He arose again from the dead;
He ascended into Heaven,
seated at the right hand of God, the Father Almighty;
from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy Catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. Amen.

"Oh God, please help us to get through all of these things" Amen.

Vacation ohh Vacationn....

2008-10-10T01:48:00.000-07:00

I really want to have a vacation this coming Decemberrr.... It all started when I heard that trip to Hong Kong for 3D2N is only cost RM 1700 for two person. I told my friend, Nana, and she's planning to go somewhere also in December. We want it so badddd. We've imagined about Disneyland and everything, we even checked the entrance ticket, but there's no more news about the RM 1700.. So yah, I went to travel agency, but all packages to Hong Kong cost more than RM 1000. That's out of my budgettt..huhu

Then, the plan B comes up, Bangkokkkk. We've planned the trip very carefully and in details, sadly the day after there was a riot in Bangkokkkk, huhuhu.

Yesterday, we were checking for Cambodia. We decided to go to Phnom Penh, which is the most affordable place to go. Then, my friend found out that we need a visa to go there, huhh why do we need a visa to go there? I thought I could visit all South East Asian countries freely. I'm desperately want to go somewhere, so I don't care about the visa. It's only cost me USD 25 anywayyy. Then, my other friend said that Phnom Penh is not that nice, the people are not friendly and really crowded. AARRGGHHH...

Where should I go??? I really want to go somewhere. But it seems impossible. huhuhuhu....

:(

One fine rainy day

2008-08-28T02:59:00.001-07:00

This semester, I'm having six hours break every Tuesday. Clearly, sitting for six hours doing nothing in campus would be boring. Last Monday, I decided to accompany my friend, Pito, to go to Pertama Complex.

Shockingly, I enjoyed every moment on that day. Pito and I went to Pertama Complex by LRT. We stopped at Masjid Jamek. We were planning to have breakfast somewhere around there. We just walked, then we found a lot of interesting things, such as something like Little India in Singapore.

The rain was so bad that day, it forced us to go to random places such as small food court and Baju Kurung shop. We managed to go to Pertama Complex. Pito was having her jeans to be altered.

The best part was while we want to go back to our campus. We walked to LRT station and it was raining. We used umbrella and decided to take some pictures. We saw the Twin Towers and KL Tower covered by clouds. It's just comforting.

If Frank Sinatra said"on a clear day you can see forever", I would say "on a rainy day you will see differently." Everything seems to be different. Something I never seen before was there. That was one of the best moments in my life: walking under the rain, observing something and feel alive.

Well, I love to just sit and let my mind goes free. Feel and see something from the different perspective. Enjoying every moment I could take. Feel alive and feel the enchanting happiness.

:):):):)

"Zeexplorer exploring her sentimental heart"

2008-08-22T02:07:00.001-07:00

Currently, I'm listening to Sentimental Heart by She & Him.

I do have sentimental heart right now. It's been a long time since my last post, and my life have changed. Too much changes had happened, something I barely recall.

I have found and lost something.

I've been trying so hard not to think about those things, but maybe I should.

I have hurt someone, but I never meant to hurt anyone.

I have found the new excitement in my life, but sometimes I feel that I am wrong having the time of my life while someone is hurt.

Now, we're just a stranger to each other. Maybe I should leave it just like that or I might hurt someone even more.

Well, I will try to always look in the bright side

So, hello my new life.......
and cheerio my old "habits"..................

:)

PS: I have learned how to drive, haha!

The Cat

2008-06-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

Part 2:

I ran, the smell of Whiskas has brought me inside. It was a special smell that always makes my tummy feeling hungry. Oh, I loved Whiskas. I looked to my plate, my owner has poured the milk. The brown color of Whiskas and the whitey milk have mixed together.
These combinations tempted me. I took a bite. Hmm, delicious! Those Whiskas are crunchy with the unique taste of meat. It feels like heaven and like the nuggets my owner used to give me during his dinner time. The milk has given the own sensation. Some of my Whiskas had melted with the milk.

The Cat

2008-06-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

"I'm taking Feature Writing subject this semester. My lecture asks me to write something about a cat that lived in the farmer at the breakfast time. The first part, the cat did not move at all. I need to describe what the cat saw. I'm going to post the revision from what I have written. It will be the story about the cat from what I have revised based on my lecture's comments"

Part 1:

The smell of bacon has woken me up. I looked through the window, waiting for the Mr. Golden Sun to rise up. It was dark outside. The farm has been covered by the darkness. I could not see clearly. I can smell the leaves with the dews flowing down to the land. I heard the cock waking every side of the farm up. It was fine morning, even the sky was not clear. The moon had already disappeared, the stars were followed. It was dark sky above, waiting for the new shine from Mr. Golden Sun.

THS: True "Hollywood" Story - Natasha

2008-06-04T09:44:00.001-07:00

Livia is my brother in law's niece. One fine Sunday, I was attending Livia's English Competition. The English Competition was for students from kindergarten to junior high. It was interesting to see these young people were good enough in English (Indonesia is not an English speaking country). Then I saw the grand prize was 3 days 2 nights trip to Bali, wowww it was so tempting.

I did not mind to company Livia and I think this competition was good for these young people. Then, while they were waiting for the results, there was one girl named Natasha. Natasha (suppose to be) an actress. The MC was reading a lot of Soap Opera, advertisements and movies she had acted. I guess, she must be popular enough. She sang a few songs for the audience, which sadly supposes to be adults' type of song.

She was only 10 years old, still studying in elementary school and I bet she did not understand anything about those songs. The audiences were children as well. They would not understand what is love, why people tend to have triangle love, or anything that have been mentioned all the time from those songs.

She sang with EXTREMELY fake smile and looks kinda like plastic girl with full make up. She did flirt while singing, she moved and danced a bit. She was using pink dress, with pink legging and white boots (so entertainer).

I pity her. I did not know whether her mother forcing her to do these or this is all she wanted to do. I think, it is not suitable for her to be fake in very young age. She should enjoy her days as a kid, because someday when she grows up those fake smiles are more needed.

I asked my brother in law, "If you have a daughter, are you going to let her to be like Natasha?" He said, "NO" (thanks God my brother in law is clever enough not to let her future daughter being that sick)

I looked at Natasha's mother, she was proud of her daughter.

Natasha, I think she did not even really understand why she's doing all those things. She looks blur and young. She did not look like she enjoyed her performance. She did not understand what she was doing.

I remembered there were a lot of young actors or actresses who finally screwed up their life because they were popular when they were kids. Most probably, Natasha would ended up like them.

I saw Livia, she did not win the competition but she just sad like kid who had lost their Ice Cream. Someday, she will learn to do better, and she has her days as a young girl. Natasha, she might not only loseher Ice Cream, she might lose her days that suppose to be the most unforgettable days in her life.

Cheers for Natasha

PS. I will post Natasha's video later. I could not transfered the video from my cellphone, huhu. I don't know how to use the bluetooth.

Skeptics and True Believers

2008-06-04T09:33:00.001-07:00

I need to admit, I used the title of The Academy Is... for my blog's title. Actually, I'm not a fan of The Academy Is.. I don't even like the song Skeptics and True Believers. When I was thinking about my blog's title, I searched to my iTunes playlist, and found Skeptics and True Believers is the sentence that quite reflect my personality. I could not explain it more though, hehe.

Know I think I need to change my blog's title because I really don't like the song. I was listening to this song last night and I felt like this song is sooooo high school, haha.

When I could not find the right words, I always use something pop in my mind which mostly come from songs. I think I need to start to avoid this habit, sometimes I felt that I did plagiarism or something. Most of my writing must be influenced by some songs, haha.

Okay then, I need to find the right blog's title.

Cheerio

Movie killed the book

2008-04-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever feel betrayed after watch movies that based on the books?
Indeed, most of the movies based on the books are always disappointed. I feel that some movies have killed my imagination.

Why people made a movie based on the book, if they tend to change almost the whole stories.

Gossip Girl, Da Vinci Code, The Nanny Diaries, Devil Wears Prada, and etc. there were a lot of differences between the books and the movies.

Let's take Gossip Girl as comparison. Even the serial was not that disappointed the story has changed. Jenny was supposed to be double D. Dan and Serena? Where is Vanessa? I thought Eric studying in Brown.

If you watched the movie, I just wanna tell you. Based on the book, Jenny has double D, she quite scandalous, she was naïve and Serena wannabe. Serena was a goddess (the serial has shown it too). She was never interested with Dan. Dan was dating Vanessa, the other Constance’s student and indie movie maker. Blair was not lost her virginity with Chuck Bass (for God sake). Eric was a college guy, studying at Brown and has partied a lot. Blair’s mom was not a fashion designer; she was dating someone that Blair hates so much. Blair’s step brother, Aaron, had a relationship with Serena. Blair was not that mean, she was not evil. She just want everything to be perfect, but unfortunately Serena always ruining her plans. Please be objective with Blair :)

Can you imagine how disappointed I am? There was a huge different thing.

Da Vinci Code, The Nanny Diaries and Devil Wears Prada were acceptable. Even I like the books much better, I understand, it was hard to put few hundred pages of book into two hours movie. They should cut something to fit in, and more drama is a must! Well, drama drama drama, maybe they thought all of us like too much drama.

There was some movie that followed the remarkable book loyally. Gone with the Wind, I just watched it once again, I felt it was fascinating. The movie given me the same satisfaction as the book.

Pride and Prejudice was the same though. Even it gets more romantic in the movie, it's acceptable.

If you read the book, you like it, why do you want to make a movie that totally different? You can change a bit, but not the main story.

Should I watch the movie first rather than read the book? I know, I wont get disappointed if I watch the movie first then read the book. So, there is no more pleasure of reading then. Bcos my mind has been set by the movie. I could not have the free imagination anymore, something people could not take from me.

After all, each person has their own interpretation about the book they have read. I couldn't blame them. Even I still feel my imagination has been killed by those movies that shown really different stories.

Well for all the movie makers, please don't destroy the story.

Cheerio

Am I Chinese?

2008-04-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

I was born in Indonesia, but I am pure Chinese. I'm proud being Chinese, I'm surely do. Now, it is kinda change a bit, it doesn't mean I'm not proud that I am Chinese, but I'm getting irritated by other Chinese.

When the first time I moved here, in Malaysia, I was not really care about that I'm Chinese but I couldn't speak Chinese. In my country, especially in Jakarta, it is not a problem at all. There are a lot of Indonesian Chinese, including my parents, who couldn't speak Mandarin, Hokkien or whatever.

Now, every time I'm in the cab with Chinese driver, they are going to speak in Mandarin to me. Whenever I reply, "Sorry Uncle, I cannot speak Chinese" they will accuse me.

Uncle 1: I thought you are Chinese ah
Uncle 2: You Chinese but cannot speak Chinese, funny ah
Uncle 3: How come you cannot speak Chinese. You are not Chinese!

They will give me those pity looks, or even get mad of me.

I will explain to them, how the thing was going in the past. Some stories, that Soeharto did not allow Indonesia Chinese to speak in their mother tongue language and even forced them to change their name to Indonesian name.

They still give me those pity looks, or ignore me, haha.

Uncle 4; You should learn Mandarin, today it is very important you know (agree!)
Uncle 5; Started to ignore me and bitching up in Mandarin. (for this type of taxi driver they are look very grumpy)
Uncle 6; Even your parents cannot speak Mandarin? aiyoooooo (shake their head and another pity looks again)

Well, those kind of reactions were came from taxi driver, or I will say uneducated class. My lecture and friends put more curiosity rather than accusing me about this (thanks God).

I know, every Chinese are always proud about Chinese. From the history I learnt, in the past they were the same. Chinese always think China as the centre of the world and other races are barbarian. Despite the facts Chinese is a good businessman and the economy builder in some countries, they are always the minority.

United States, Malaysia, Indonesia, Australia, they are the minority.

From the presentation I attended, the professor had mentioned that Chinese in China thought that Singaporean Chinese were not Chinese. They had emigrated from China, therefore they are not "Chinese" anymore. I think it is funny, because most of the time I heard from those taxi drivers that I am not Chinese because I could not speak Mandarin. Now all I wanted to say to them, "Do you know, you have been abandoned as well by the other Chinese? We are the same"

Well, after all I'm proud that I am Chinese. It is not my fault that my ancestor had travelled to Indonesia. This is not my fault that Soeharto used to hate Chinese. This is not my fault that even my parents could not speak Mandarin. I am Chinese.

I am proud as well, even I am Chinese, I'm not old-fashioned like most of the Chinese. I have blended with other races, I have seen more about cultural differences. I have learnt more about others, and I did not live in the box with "CHINESE" letter only.

Cheers!

Counting the hours

2008-03-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

There is a few more hours left until I’m turning 22. Am I happy? For now, I will say no.

I woke up today and everything still going all right, even I couldn’t study few more chapters before my test. It gets worse after the test. I’m not type of student who are hardworking, smart and etc. but I did expect a good mark, especially for this assignment. I thought that I will get a good mark, but I only got 10/20, huhu. I was sooo shocked when my lecture told me. I never expected my mark to be really really good, but I don’t want to be pass2an as well. I thought I will get at least 14/20 because I kinda put an effort while doing that assignment if I compared to my other assignments or test, which I just “pasrah”.

I was so sad, because in 6 more hours I will turning 22, but what happened so far it gets me down. I still haven’t changed to somebody I want to be if I’m 22 years old.

The story goes, then I messaged my boyfriend, he was doing his assignment. I really feel that I need a friend, because tomorrow is my birthday but all I have now is a bad grade. He said that I couldn’t go to his place today, because he’s having a group meeting in the afternoon. Aarrgghh.

I went to sleep, then I woke up; I had a bad dream. It wasn’t clear what all was about, but in my dream I need to run because everybody tries to chase me. I woke up and my heart was beating so fast. I called my boyfriend, he did not pick up. Then I called one of my best friends. We chatted for a while. We kinda feel sad, because we are in the same age, but we haven’t done anything yet. I haven’t finished my degree yet. I’m not a skipper, but I did waste my times two years a go when I decided to go to American degree after completing my foundation year which mean I will finish my degree after five years in Malaysia.

I feel kinda bad for my parents, because I have wasting my time with this whole degree thingy. I have promised my father that I will pull up my grade this semester because I wasn’t performed well last semester. My GPA is declining, huhu. That’s why I don’t want to be pass2annn. Huuuuuhhh, I’m really saaaddd right now.

TO DO LIST (22 years old):

pull up my grade (oh God please help me)
graduate in 1 ½ years
be a good daughter
be a good girlfriend J
be a good auntiee
find a part time job or internship (I need to enter the work environment, SOON)
save more money
be more responsible and mature
be closer to God (I haven’t go to the church in 4 months, I didn’t go for Easter toooo, aarrgghh)

Well that’s all. I hope I will have a great year in my new age.

Ciao.

2008-03-15T13:09:00.000-07:00

My friend, Gora, is leaving soon. He’s going to continue his study in US. Actually, he was my boyfriend’s housemate. We’re kinda close though; there was a lot of chit chatting, curhat2 with him.

I acted kinda annoying lately. I became too sensitive, and he was one of my victims. My boyfriend said that he’s leaving soon and I should not act like that. It was late when I realize the clock has already clicking faster and faster…

So yah, I met him today. We were chit chatting a bit, and then I feel really sad right now. We have known each other for more than a year. When my boyfriend not around, he always accompanies me, he was the first person I called whenever I need a friend to talk. Now I don't have friend to curhat2an, talks about bags, party (hehe), cela2an, seeing someone act really silly, huhh there's so many things I'm gonna miss about si Gora.

There was one thing I regretted again today. I did not spend a quality time with him; even I know he’s leaving soon.

Take care gorsss. I'm really really really gonna miss you. I hope to see you again in the future. Good luck mate.

PS: A-14-05 is always in my heart.

God Only Knows

2008-03-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

These days, sadness and happiness are come together in my life. I feel so stressed with things that happening in my life. The last few days, I was like a bomb. You could not touch me, even just a bit, I will explode. I became extremely sensitive, and I shown it to people around me.

My best friends have known that I’m a mood swinger. I’m not proud of it, in fact I really hate when my mood swings. Sometimes I can’t tell all my feelings, I tend to hide what I feel but it is exploding in the other way.

Well, from all of those sadness I feel happiness as well. It's true from all of bad things we can find something precious. I found someone that I can count on while facing these. He came with patient and greater understanding, which helps me a lot.

I regretted all those things I had done the last few days. I regretted that I was so selfish, because I wasn’t thinking about the other except myself. Thanks for remind me that I wasn’t alone. God only knows what I'd be without you. I’m the luckiest girl alive. Thanks :)

Watching The People Change

2008-03-05T08:48:00.000-08:00

People come and go, yes it is true. Everybody's changing, yes they are. Honestly, I hate changing. I love my routine, which means my routine activities and my "routine" friends. I'm scared of changing. I'm scared of everything new in my life. On the other side, I want some changes and I need some changes. Life is complicated just like it should be, isn't it?

My friends have changed. They changed into someone I hardly known. In some way, I know I have changed either. It was kind of sad, when I went back to my hometown last holiday I found they are not the same anymore. There's no more "we are best friends forever". We didn't even share the same favorite food anymore. They have changed, and I have changed. I want them to be the same as when I left them. We had shared the same life, we hated the same people in high school, we shared stories almost every hour. Now, we don't even know one each other feelings, forget about sadness, we don't even share happiness.

I'm scared that people I love today would change someday. I don't really mind if they are change for good, but I hate it when they change into someone I hardly known. Well, "everybody's changing and I don't feel the same". :)

Living is easy with eyes closed

2008-02-26T09:28:00.000-08:00

I do love lyrics. I love those ironic or sarcastic lyrics. I would love one song even more, because the lyrics. Usually, I picked randomly a good lyric and use it while writing something, haha.

Today, I watched Across the Universe. It was a great movie, with that era as a setting, high-waisted jeans, handsome actor with British/Scottish accent, I'm not sure though, and off course The Beatles' songs.

No doubt, the lyrics were good. My all time favorite lyric is came from Strawberry Fields Forever.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.
It doesn't matter much to me.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.

No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low.
That is you can't you know tune in but it's all right.
That is I think it's not too bad.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.

Always no sometimes think it's me, but you know I know when it's a dream.
I think I know I mean "Yes," but it's all wrong.
That is I think I disagree.

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.
Strawberry Fields forever.
Strawberry Fields forever.
Strawberry Fields forever.

I really like the part "Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see"

Isn't it easier to live with eyes closed? I bet it is.

Salute for The Beatles

agætis byrjun

2008-02-26T07:57:00.000-08:00

I had blog last year, because my lecture asked me to create one. Just now, in impulse, I decided to delete and start all over again.

Well, as a bachelor student of Mass. Communication specializing in media studies, I think I should have one blog, at least to get used to with writing. I'm not good enough in English, so I hope you would understand if there's a grammar error, etc.

That's it for now, well I hope its gonna be an interesting blog :)

Ciao